After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream.  In the dream I had just lost Brad again.   Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him.  People I would pass would say, “he just went that way.” “he just passed […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Lynn - Nice. Thanks for sharing.
    LynnReplyCancel

  • sunshine - Jenny,
    I usually spend a good hour or so every 6 mths-1yr reading your posts. I love all of them! I don't know why you haven't written a book yet! I am very serious. I think you are an incredibly strong woman, wife, mother and friend, and daughter. Thanks for sharing ALL of your heart in these posts.ReplyCancel

  • Jen - Thanks Sunshine. You are so sweet. I appreciate your kind words. It helps me be brave enough to write 🙂
    Hope all your family is good.ReplyCancel

After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream.  In the dream I had just lost Brad again.   Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him.  People I would pass would say, “he just went that way.” “he just passed […]

View full post »

loading...

So it’s safe to say that Valentines day is no longer one of my favorite holidays. to be honest, it pretty much blows now. And each year it is a hard day and it seems like I miss Brad more on that day than others….(didn’t think that was possible, but I guess it is.)   […]

View full post »

loading...

So it’s safe to say that Valentines day is no longer one of my favorite holidays. to be honest, it pretty much blows now. And each year it is a hard day and it seems like I miss Brad more on that day than others….(didn’t think that was possible, but I guess it is.)   […]

View full post »

loading...

Brad –Do you remember when Ty was trying out for soccer at Burkburnett Middle School? And, you must have been flying lates that day because you were home and I was telling you how nervous I was for her and how much I hoped she would make it… on and on. etc etc.And you just […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Kalani - I feel like Ty is like my little sister and she is an AWESOME person- many wonderful things in her life now and to come!ReplyCancel

10 yrs ago this last weekend I met my soul mate.   And he changed everything.   I’ve been thinking about that magical little weekend 10 years ago a lot over this past month. Thinking about the totally random miraculous way we even met. (blind date, set up by someone I had met, I think […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Kalani - What do you mean horrible~! Ha I remember me and Ty going 007 on you guys!And I also remember how sweet it was and how extremely giddy I was for you! 🙂ReplyCancel

10 yrs ago this last weekend I met my soul mate.   And he changed everything.   I’ve been thinking about that magical little weekend 10 years ago a lot over this past month. Thinking about the totally random miraculous way we even met. (blind date, set up by someone I had met, I think […]

View full post »

loading...

I remember a few years ago Brad’s brothers family was in town and I walked outside to Uncle Lance teaching Sophie how to ride… running up and down the sidewalk with her and she was having a blast. It kindof took my breath away to see it because it was like seeing the picture I […]

View full post »

loading...
  • angie ferrin - Those are tough times, I've been through a lot of those lately, graduation, driving, dating… Zoo many! Way to pick up and be such a great mom!! They are with us much more than we realize. Thanks for sharing, you have a beautiful family.. what fun memories for you and your sweet children:)
    ReplyCancel

  • Jen - Thanks for your kind comment Angie. Dating and driving were doozy's for me to get through – and graduation, well that's a whole other story. I cried the other day when I put the date on my calendar. I need to get a grip. Please tell me it wasn't that bad :o. They are here pretty often aren't they:) I wish you well in all your happy upcoming changes. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Jodi Orgill Brown - Jen, my good friend Annette told me about you today and I wanted to read your blog. I love your posts. Thank you so much for your bravery, your beautiful spirit and for enduring. You are a wonderful example to all of us!

    Jodi Orgill Brown
    http://www.lifeconstructionzone.comReplyCancel

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of attending an AWP event.  AWP stands for  the American Widow Project.  A charity started by a military widow when she lost her husband at age 21. I stumbled across the AWP website about a year after I lost Brad. I remember clearly the night I found […]

View full post »

loading...

Widow.    When I  realized that at age 33 that title applied to me – it made me physically sick. I completely rejected that word and everything that it stood for.   I never refer to myself as a widow. (it’s ironic that my blog has this word in the title. – really I’ve always […]

View full post »

loading...

 I have a love hate relationship with Memorial Day weekend. I love that people remember and honor Brad more than on your average day. But it’s also an emotional roller coaster weekend for me. I usually get a little pissed, missing my old memorial days spent with my sweet husband.   I’m usually grateful and […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Ticey - What a great way to honor an amazing guy!ReplyCancel

  • Brittney - You are awesome for taking your girls. What sad and wonderful memories. I'm so glad you went.ReplyCancel

Yesterday marks the four year anniversary of Brad’s death. I have felt this day creeping up. It stresses me out. I don’t really despise or hate this day. Some people may find that interesting. The only reason for that is because I feel that Brad is closer on May 1st. (and that’s saying something, because […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Colette - Jen you are an amazing women in so many ways. Your girls are so very lucky to have you as their mommy. And the offer to help in the yard is still there, just let me know when you are heading out again, I would love to come and help you:) ALWAYS remember just how amazing you are .ReplyCancel

  • Tesha - Jen, I feel really guilty writing this, because now I know why I needed to come over Tuesday. I had a whole little something to bring with a card.. And the day got away from me. I was already thinking of you anyway, but now I know why and I am really sorry i listened and didn't obey :(. You're amazing , beautiful, strong, and sweet. Brad must be awfully proud.ReplyCancel

  • Jena Hendry - Sometimes it's so hard to know what to write, but know that I love reading your posts and that I think you are one of the most amazing people on this planet. I love you and your girls so much.ReplyCancel

Yesterday marks the four year anniversary of Brad’s death. I have felt this day creeping up. It stresses me out. I don’t really despise or hate this day. Some people may find that interesting. The only reason for that is because I feel that Brad is closer on May 1st. (and that’s saying something, because […]

View full post »

loading...

Driving home tonight a Sugarland song came on the radio. All of a sudden I am thrown back into a memory with Brad. Driving home from Destin to Panama City.  We would go to Destin for a date or with the family every once in a while.  I love that little stretch of road between. […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Leslie - well said. i often have to tell people that i know i cannot be as happy alone. being an US is in the plan and i know i can only achieve happiness to a certain level as just ME. being an US kicks that happiness up to another level… that is what i want. that is what i miss. being an US… like you said.ReplyCancel

  • Brittney - That was beautiful Jen. You and Brad had an amazing and beautiful love.ReplyCancel

  • Kalani - Love you! 🙂 Thinking about you today lots..ReplyCancel

  • salty c-snake - I've been thinking about you too today and came over to this site to see if you had posted anything recently. i loved that little glimpse into you and brad. and that 2/3 thing is such a good point its not just losing brad but losing who you were with him. in never thought of it that way. still so sorry for your loss-still so inspired by you jen.ReplyCancel

I can not see the ocean without thinking of Brad.  He proposed to me on the beach. We got married and moved a few days later to our home in Florida. Not right on the beach, but close enough that when I needed to see the ocean I wasn’t further than about 15 miles away. […]

View full post »

loading...

I can not see the ocean without thinking of Brad.  He proposed to me on the beach. We got married and moved a few days later to our home in Florida. Not right on the beach, but close enough that when I needed to see the ocean I wasn’t further than about 15 miles away. […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Leslie - ironic… i got online last month and googled sites that used the phrase 'widows might'… i wanted to try to use it somehow… and now i see that you have used it. it is such a great way to change the word mite into might…

    i didn't know you had a blog. now that i do, i will add you to my 'kindred widows' section on my blog… i hope you don't mind. i do like checking in on all of my widow friends.

    i liked what you wrote in this posting. grief is such an 'interesting' thing (for lack of a better word)… one day i will feel like i am doing really well and feeling a sort of contentment, and then the next day i cannot breathe. it sure does help knowing other people who just 'get it'.

    you are my 'night owl' friend. i hope you get some sleep tonight. 🙂

    good night.ReplyCancel

  • Jen - Leslie – that is ironic. I love the word play of a "widow's Might" as well. My very first post is my thoughts on that and why I chose this name. I don't post very often – but I am going to try to write more. It is therapeutic for me. So – yes, add me to your kindred widows page – and I want to add you to mine. It used to freak me out having other people read the blog, but now I'm trying to embrace it, so I might as well get it out there, right? Obvisouly, you can see by looking at this blog that I don't know how to do that. 🙂 I was thinking I was getting pretty fancy adding a photo! Some day I'll have to take blog lessons from you girls who know how to do cute things and link up stuff and all those fancy things that I don't know how to do.

    grief is "interesting". It is really nice to know other people who get it. I am so glad to have met you and all those other amazing chicks at the fabulous widow conference 😉ReplyCancel

  • Leslie - sorry, i didn't know you had written back to me on here. 🙂 until now…

    the widows might thing… i love it. great minds, right?

    i am glad you are embracing the blogging thing, it really is therapeutic and you are amazing, so you 'might' as well share your wisdom with others through your journey.

    we all need to get together again. i guess i should put that on 'our facebook page'. 🙂ReplyCancel

Our little family attended out first TAPS event last month. TAPS stands for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. TAPS provides support to all who have lost someone who served in the armed forces. I’ve been getting their magazine and emails for almost 4 years. I’ve always thought it would be good for us to go […]

View full post »

loading...

Our little family attended out first TAPS event last month. TAPS stands for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. TAPS provides support to all who have lost someone who served in the armed forces. I’ve been getting their magazine and emails for almost 4 years. I’ve always thought it would be good for us to go […]

View full post »

loading...

I told Sophie the other day that her dance class was having a daddy daughter party. I told her I could go with her, or Grandpa would love to go.  That she had lots of people who loved her and many people who would love to go.   “So who do you think you want […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Skye - That's so precious, thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • sheryl - I think she sounds just like her Mom~she is one smart little girl and we could all learn alot from you both! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • sheryl - This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyCancel

  • Jaimee - That literally brought me to tears. What a precious little girl you have.ReplyCancel

My birthday is on Veteran’s Day. It was the greatest day to have a birthday. Brad was always off work and I got to spend the whole day with him. I would wake to breakfast in bed – usually Brad’s famous French toast. (my favorite) He would have something amazing planned every year, little gifts […]

View full post »

loading...

My birthday is on Veteran’s Day. It was the greatest day to have a birthday. Brad was always off work and I got to spend the whole day with him. I would wake to breakfast in bed – usually Brad’s famous French toast. (my favorite) He would have something amazing planned every year, little gifts […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Amanda Folks - "Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome." -Joseph B. Wirthlin
    You are so loved, Jennifer.ReplyCancel

  • Colette - Jen you really are an amazing Woman. How lucky you are to have all of those special memories of your eternal companion. Your girls are so lucky to have you and all of the wonderful memories that you are keeping alive of their Daddy. If you are ever in need of anyone to help you with the girls so that you can have your date, please call and I would love to help you out so that you can have that special time .ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Krey - Wow – well said, Jen. Beautiful! Makes me appreciate the temple all the more. I'm so glad you have that in your life – and that you know how much it can bless you and help you through. What a great example you are to those around you! XOXOReplyCancel

  • Doubletake Decor - Thanks for sharing your deepest feelings with us, Jen. This help me and countless others to also have perspective and be grateful for all the small, but precious moments in our lives. You help me want to be better. Thank you so much. I love you.ReplyCancel

  • Els Manning - just found your blog, while blog hopping. Hang in there. Keep your chin up. And hang on to your strong knowledge. Also you are so right. This is just a short time. And you can do it. Reading your words, it screams " I am strong, i believe!" Also belated happy birthday. In Dutch, ( i'm from Holland) the words you say to wish someone happy birthday is congratulations with your birthday. Not happy birthday. Fitting in your case. You made it another year. I am sure there were days you didn't think that you could…. And here you are. Did it again. Another year. Congratulations! Wishing you a better year. Little less heart ache…and more strength, and more smiles…
    keep the faith lady… best wishes els

    elsmanning7@gmail.comReplyCancel

  • Kalani - I love you! you are such a great example to us all and help me keep perspective 🙂ReplyCancel

9-11 I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was driving to school (I taught 2nd grade) and I heard something on the radio about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I had only been able to listen for a minute or two before I got to school.  I ran in and when […]

View full post »

loading...

9-11 I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was driving to school (I taught 2nd grade) and I heard something on the radio about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I had only been able to listen for a minute or two before I got to school.  I ran in and when […]

View full post »

loading...
  • Amanda Folks - Jeremy and I had the same talk with the kids – all about "Good guys" and "bad guys" and how important it is for us to give up our Daddy every now and then so he can make sure that our Country is safe. You and your living legacy hold the virtue of courage and heroism.ReplyCancel