After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream.  In the dream I had just lost Brad again.   Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him.  People I would pass would say, “he just went that way.” “he just passed […]

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After Brad died I used to have the most horrible, crushingly sad dream.  In the dream I had just lost Brad again.   Throughout the whole dream I was running all over looking for him and I could never find him.  People I would pass would say, “he just went that way.” “he just passed […]

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So it’s safe to say that Valentines day is no longer one of my favorite holidays. to be honest, it pretty much blows now. And each year it is a hard day and it seems like I miss Brad more on that day than others….(didn’t think that was possible, but I guess it is.)   […]

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So it’s safe to say that Valentines day is no longer one of my favorite holidays. to be honest, it pretty much blows now. And each year it is a hard day and it seems like I miss Brad more on that day than others….(didn’t think that was possible, but I guess it is.)   […]

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Brad –Do you remember when Ty was trying out for soccer at Burkburnett Middle School? And, you must have been flying lates that day because you were home and I was telling you how nervous I was for her and how much I hoped she would make it… on and on. etc etc.And you just […]

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10 yrs ago this last weekend I met my soul mate.   And he changed everything.   I’ve been thinking about that magical little weekend 10 years ago a lot over this past month. Thinking about the totally random miraculous way we even met. (blind date, set up by someone I had met, I think […]

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10 yrs ago this last weekend I met my soul mate.   And he changed everything.   I’ve been thinking about that magical little weekend 10 years ago a lot over this past month. Thinking about the totally random miraculous way we even met. (blind date, set up by someone I had met, I think […]

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I remember a few years ago Brad’s brothers family was in town and I walked outside to Uncle Lance teaching Sophie how to ride… running up and down the sidewalk with her and she was having a blast. It kindof took my breath away to see it because it was like seeing the picture I […]

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A few weeks ago I had the privilege of attending an AWP event.  AWP stands for  the American Widow Project.  A charity started by a military widow when she lost her husband at age 21. I stumbled across the AWP website about a year after I lost Brad. I remember clearly the night I found […]

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A few weeks ago I had the privilege of attending an AWP event.  AWP stands for  the American Widow Project.  A charity started by a military widow when she lost her husband at age 21. I stumbled across the AWP website about a year after I lost Brad. I remember clearly the night I found […]

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Widow.    When I  realized that at age 33 that title applied to me – it made me physically sick. I completely rejected that word and everything that it stood for.   I never refer to myself as a widow. (it’s ironic that my blog has this word in the title. – really I’ve always […]

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 I have a love hate relationship with Memorial Day weekend. I love that people remember and honor Brad more than on your average day. But it’s also an emotional roller coaster weekend for me. I usually get a little pissed, missing my old memorial days spent with my sweet husband.   I’m usually grateful and […]

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Yesterday marks the four year anniversary of Brad’s death. I have felt this day creeping up. It stresses me out. I don’t really despise or hate this day. Some people may find that interesting. The only reason for that is because I feel that Brad is closer on May 1st. (and that’s saying something, because […]

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Yesterday marks the four year anniversary of Brad’s death. I have felt this day creeping up. It stresses me out. I don’t really despise or hate this day. Some people may find that interesting. The only reason for that is because I feel that Brad is closer on May 1st. (and that’s saying something, because […]

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Driving home tonight a Sugarland song came on the radio. All of a sudden I am thrown back into a memory with Brad. Driving home from Destin to Panama City.  We would go to Destin for a date or with the family every once in a while.  I love that little stretch of road between. […]

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I can not see the ocean without thinking of Brad.  He proposed to me on the beach. We got married and moved a few days later to our home in Florida. Not right on the beach, but close enough that when I needed to see the ocean I wasn’t further than about 15 miles away. […]

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I can not see the ocean without thinking of Brad.  He proposed to me on the beach. We got married and moved a few days later to our home in Florida. Not right on the beach, but close enough that when I needed to see the ocean I wasn’t further than about 15 miles away. […]

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Our little family attended out first TAPS event last month. TAPS stands for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. TAPS provides support to all who have lost someone who served in the armed forces. I’ve been getting their magazine and emails for almost 4 years. I’ve always thought it would be good for us to go […]

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Our little family attended out first TAPS event last month. TAPS stands for Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. TAPS provides support to all who have lost someone who served in the armed forces. I’ve been getting their magazine and emails for almost 4 years. I’ve always thought it would be good for us to go […]

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I told Sophie the other day that her dance class was having a daddy daughter party. I told her I could go with her, or Grandpa would love to go.  That she had lots of people who loved her and many people who would love to go.   “So who do you think you want […]

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My birthday is on Veteran’s Day. It was the greatest day to have a birthday. Brad was always off work and I got to spend the whole day with him. I would wake to breakfast in bed – usually Brad’s famous French toast. (my favorite) He would have something amazing planned every year, little gifts […]

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My birthday is on Veteran’s Day. It was the greatest day to have a birthday. Brad was always off work and I got to spend the whole day with him. I would wake to breakfast in bed – usually Brad’s famous French toast. (my favorite) He would have something amazing planned every year, little gifts […]

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9-11 I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was driving to school (I taught 2nd grade) and I heard something on the radio about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I had only been able to listen for a minute or two before I got to school.  I ran in and when […]

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9-11 I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was driving to school (I taught 2nd grade) and I heard something on the radio about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I had only been able to listen for a minute or two before I got to school.  I ran in and when […]

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I’m missing you extra today. Sophie starts kindergarten tomorrow and whenever I think about it I want to cry.   It’s a combination of many things – I’m a little in denial that she is old enough to go. When I had little babies at home it was easier to deal with the fact that […]

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